Your vacation: Instead of Visiting the Little Mermaid

Thinking about a trip to Europe? If you're going at Christmastime of in the middle of summer, I must recommend Copenhagen. Not as many Americans visit so it feels very much like you are immersed in local culture. Being married to a Dane has given me lots of time to discover the back streets and fun events for this gorgeous city, housing the oldest monarchy on the planet.

1. Stay at The Palace Hotel
Located in the heart of Copenhagen across from the town square and close to Tivoli it is amazingly absent of American tourists. Get to breakfast early though or you'll find the orange juice rather tepid.

2. Eat Italian food at Vesuvio's
The Danish cuisine is like ours in that they enjoy food from all over. This one is terrific and not overly expensive. I am a huge fan of the calzone but the menu will satisfy any taste. The owners and waiters hail from Italy so enjoy getting another culture imfused with the Nordic feel.

3. Take the train to Bellevue
You'll find a nice beach area with gorgeous sand and sun. An amusement park awaits the kids and an animal park provides a nice walk through the forest.

4. Sit on the dock at Nyhavn
This is an amazing combination of tourist attraction and local hang out. When the weather is nice you'll find locals sitting on the docks with friends and beer. In the wonter, the restaurants provide heaters and blankets to keep you warm while you watch the boats.

5. Nap in the King's Garden
A beautiful park with many families and students awaits you. A small lake provides great scenery  for a nice stroll and the grass is wonderfully inviting for an afternoon siesta.

6. Shop at Illum
This is the Danish version of Rodeo Drive. You can find delicious, hand made chocolate and other delicacies along side boutique clothing and even office equipment. Be prepared to spend some Kroner here since it is the most expensive store in the coutry.

7. Have a drink at The Mouse and the Elephant
No tourists here. It is a unique, four story bar filled with people playing chess, sitting on their two patio areas, and drinking beeer poured out of an elephant trunk. When we went it was smoke-filled but new laws should keep the smokers sitting outside.

8. Hear American oldies at Rosie McGee's
If you need a dose of Billy Joel or James Taylor head to Rosie McGee's for some fun. It gets hopping late in the evening. The dance floor is empty most of the time but a brave American could teach some partying Danes how to two-step is she were so inclined.

9. Walk through Tivoli at midnight
Tivoli is a small amusement park in the heart of Copenhagen famous for being the first of it's kind. You'll find lots of great restaurants within the park as well as fast food stands with a Danish flair. Many little shops carry tourist trinquets galore. The real fun though happens late when few park goers remain. Stay fo rhte light show and you wol not be disappointed.

10. Eat a hot dog at the airport
Picking up your baggage has never been more delicious. A Danish hot dog is nothing like our offering. You'll have to see for yourself. Not calorie friendly but well-worth the indulgance.

Your marriage: Instead of buying her chocolate

When I write this column, I imagine a potential reader and most of the time I write for wives and mothers. Today's list is meant for husbands and boyfriends. If your man isn't likely to find this blog, pass these hints along to give him ideas.

In past entries, I have shared stories of my husband Franz's surprises. He is very romantic and thoughtful and I remind myself every day how blessed I am to have his love. He wants me to have everything I want, every day and goes to extreme lengths to make me happy. Sometimes, though, it's not always helpful to get everything. My list today gives ideas for indulgances that are good for you and still fun to receive. If you want to encourage your wife in her quest for health, read on for ways to show her you love her without sabotaging her attempts.

1. Encourage her choices
Notice her workouts, tell her she looks sexy, and make her feel good about taking the time to eat right and exercise regularly.

2. Give her a massage
It doesn't matter if you're trained or not. Low lights, soft music, some scented candles, and lots of touching make for a wonderfully indulged feeling.

3. Paint her toes
I've read about this one several places but have never experienced it. I imagine it as something hilarious more than romantic since Franz thinks my feet could be a scary Halloween decoration. Hopefully your feet aren't so difficult and that his one is sensual instead of scary.

4. Give her compliments
We notice. When you tell us we are beautiful, intelligent and kind, we notice. My heart still speeds up just a little when Franz compliments the shade of my eyes. The European accent doesn't hurt...

5. Hold hands
When you're walking together, take her hand. It shows you want to be close and connected even in public.

6. Read to her
I love poetry and would melt if Franz sat next to me by a roaring fire reading a beatiful sonnet. He could read the Danish newspaper and I would think it was special. It's intimate and comforting.

7. Take her dancing
Dancing with the Stars has made us all want to waltz around the ballroom as gracefully as Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire. We watch the stars samba and tango and wish our men would dress up and take us out for a night of dancing.

8. Watch a romantic movie together
Although I am not a movie fan in general, I love sitting together and watching people fall in love. Make some popcorn, put your feet up and remember how wonderful it is to discover love.

9. Play her favorite music
Franz and I like similar music so this one happens more often than not in our household. If you enjoy country and she's rock and roll, give her CD some playing time when your driving around town.

10. Make a list of reasons you love her
My brother wrote this list for his wife on their 10th anniversary. Wow! I cannot imagine anything more romantic. Take time to tell her, in writing, what you love about her. Don't forget to mention the fact that you love that she takes care of herself as one of your items.

Your health: Instead of a another sweater

Need the perfect gift for someone who is working to lose weight? Here are ten ideas that support the healthy lifestyle and still fun to receive. The list is a little different since I have segmented the gifts by relationship.

1. For your co-worker
A  pretty lunch bag with matching storage containers. You can even fill it with a lunch food for presentation.

2. For your mother-in-law
A membership to her local gym or a Y where she can stay active in a group setting. She'll also have the guidance she needs to try new things.

3. For your husband
An interactive vaction like biking in Napa Valley or hiking at a state park.

4. For your wife
A set of weights. Women don't do enough weight work outs to prevent bone density loss. Help her get started with some colorful ones. Don't forget to encourage her progress!

5. For your child
Tickets to a local sports team. Colleges and  High schools have very reasonably priced season tickets. For a pro event, you might have to make it a one-time thing.

6. For your BFF
A cool gym bag with lots of compartments for storing stuff.

7. For your neighbor
Coupons to watch the kids or run errands so she has time to take a walk or get to the gym.

8. For your local charity
A subscription to a health magazine like Prevention, Shape, or Experience Life

9. For your pet
A polka dot or camoflague leash so Rover can walk with you. Balls and frisbees also promote activity to keep Happy happy.

10. For yourself
A new exercise outfit. Do you know that getting something new will increase your liklihood of working out? You are doing yourself a favor by adding to this wardrobe once in a while.

Your health: Instead of making excuses

A different spin on the concept this time. You'll get a list of ten things as always. This time though stop reading at the first thing you don't already do and try doing it for ten days. I have compiled the commonalities I've found in books and websites for eating well and staying healthy.

Only adopt one thing at a time so if you don't eat breakfast, stop at number 1 and try making it part of your morning routine for ten days. Once you've done that, come back for the next thing. I made it to number three before stopping. I'll check back in ten days and let you know how that goes.

1. Eat breakfast
Ideally you have protein, water, and carbs within a few hours of waking up. I am trying oatmeal because I've read it's a super food. I don't love it but a few almonds sprinkled in makes it bearable.
2. Cut out cola- sweetened and diet
Read the label. The ingredients sound more like a chemistry experiment than food.
3. Take a multi-vitamin
Unless you believe your habits are getting the correct dose of all those needed nutrients, you need this.
4. Measure and weigh your food for serving size
We underestimate quantity. My one serving of cheerios turned into 2 and a half. One cup seems so small in my big breakfast bowl.
5. Add three servings of veggies to your daily meals
The experts think we get one or two servings a day. By adding three more your almost at recommended levels.
6. Pack a lunch
My small salad at Corner Baker on Monday had 46 grams of fat. Wow! I could have had a burger.
7. Eat small meals every three hours
I am just now trying this. It is amazing not to feel hungry during the day. Not as easy as it sounds but worth the effort.
8. Get protein from chicken, fish, and nuts
Lean protein is important and needed in small quantities every meal according to the experts.This will be another stopping place for me.
9. Learn your calorie target
The FDA site lets you enter your age and weight to figure out your metabolic rate and the calories needed to sustain you.
10. Enjoy one treat meal each week
My husband reminds me that going all out, full bore will lead to quick burnout. I have a feeling I will enjoy spending ten days on this one.

Your mind: Instead of fighting about politics

Here we are again. Election season. How do you feel about the candidates? No matter your political persuasion, you must be tired of the name-calling, fact distortion, and endless TV political commercials. I have been voting for almost 25 years now in too many elections to count and don't remember ever being so frustrated with the American discourse on all things political. Has it always been this bitter?

American comedian Jon Stewart announced his "Rally to Restore Sanity" to be held in Washington D.C. on October 30. I looked at going even though the trip for me would be long and expensive. Man, I would really like to be there. To do my small part from a distance, I have composed  today's list to encourage more listening and less screaming about some very important decisions taking place across the country.

1. Read the "other" side
Before you start fighting, take time to think about the issue from another's perspective. I am very fortunate to have grown up with two parents who have different political views. They taught us to look at both sides before making a decision.
2. Remember the source
We used to open the paper and turn on the news to get news. Now, depending on what channel you watch, you get commentary and distortion. I dislike it coming from either side. I want unbiased information so I can form my own opinion. As a result of our shift in media, we have to take a step back and filter what we hear and see. It may not be factual.
3. Volunteer for a candidate
When my oldest daughter was an infant, I decided to become politically active. I had a party of choice and went off to a county meeting to participate. I learned more in a few weeks about how the political process works than in 16 years of history, government and civics lessons.  There's nothing like being in the front lines to learn.
4. Allow another opinion
The beautiful thing about running a country is that it isn't yes or no and black or white. It's multidimensional. Somewhere in the last decade or two, we have become focused on being right and making the other guy wrong by default.  When talking about the issues, give your opponent the benefit of the doubt.
5. Do your research
A few years ago in a nearby city, people voted for a candidate who was in jail and unavailable to take office. Why? Because no one paid attention to the fact that she was a convict. They knew her name and voted. Scary, isn't it?
6. Donate to a cause
I think politics has gotten ugly because people tie one party or another to a social cause. If you are pro something, donate to an organization that supports that. Do not take it out on the government. We cannot get things accomplished unless we vote for people who will work together.
7. Think future tense
Think about what our children will inherit if we continue this path of partisanship. I read today about Serbia, a country once divided by a terrible ethnic war. 15 years later, the country lives in enclaves based on religion. Unemployment is 60%. Do we want a red and blue divide to create that for our children?
8. Adopt a world view
Having a multilingual husband helps me here. Franz reads the news in several languages and is shocked by the information we do not see here in the U.S. Did you know we left toxic waste sitting out in the open in Thule, Greenland? Neither did I. Thank goodness I have Google translator to help since I speak only English.
9. Look back
I confess, I am not a huge fan of history. In school, I found it pretty dull. As an adult, I don't know as much as I'd like. Knowing what we used to be can only help us as we move forward.
10. Vote!
Less than 10% of registered voters will show up at the polls in early November. It's generally less than half when the President is on the ballot. It's been so many generations of voting that we have forgotten what a gift we have. Take a look at what citizens in Iraq and The Congo go through in order to vote. We should not care any less than they do.

Your marriage: Instead of buying a kitchen appliance

I am asking for sympathy and I need some help. My wedding anniversary is approaching and I need some ideas. Not just regular old ideas. You see, I am married to a super-star gift giver. He knows just what to do to make the occassion. I, on the other hand, am lame when it comes to shopping. Yes, I have actually bought him kitchen appliances. For his 40th birthday, he got a nice dinner and a coffee maker. What did he get me that year? A trip to Vegas. See what I have to deal with?

So, for today's list, I am going to share some actual gifts I have received from my husband. Gentlemen, don't know what to buy your wife or girlfriend for Christmas, here's your list. Most of them work for either gender so wives can find the perfect gift too. What do I need from you? Some ideas please! Add your thoughts to the comments section below so Franz doesn't end up with a steak knife set or a new pair of everyday work pants.

1.  Scavenger hunt
It started with a phone call and the instruction to go to a nearby department store. Once there, a gorgeous dress was waiting. Another call prompted me to go to a shoe store in the same mall where the clerk showed me sexy heels that complimented the dress. A little nervous now, I had to wait until the last call came. He routed me to our favorite romantic dinner spot where he waited with flowers and a bottle of champagne.
2. Surprise family day
Franz announced that we all needed to be ready for an event at noon. Off we went the local Hard Rock Cafe. The girls thought it was cool and I thought we were done. Nope. Just before the check arrived, Franz produced 4 tickets to the amusement park in a nearby suburb. Imagine the kids' delight. The small suprise turning into something bigger was a perfect delivery.
3. 40 surprises
For weeks before my birthday, Franz dropped hints about a spectacular weekend. He mentioned passports but refused to give me any details. I even had to pack not knowing where we were going or what we were doing. Maddening and excititing at the same time. What did we do? We stayed locally in an upscale hotel and every few hours some new surprise appeared. Nothing in and of itself very expensive, just one after another all weekend long. The final gift toddled out as we pulled into the garage at home. A beautiful puppy with a pink nose and a pink bow greeted me.
4. Concert in the park
Several years ago, Franz learned John Mayer was coming to town. My whole family enjoys his music. A little old to be a groupie, Franz joined the fan club just to get first choice in seating. He bought tickets but kept it all to himself. He announced it a few weeks before the concert by pinning up concert t-shirts to the girls' bedroom doors. The amazing thing is that he knew their taste and size.
5. Home from work
After one stressful day at work, I walked in to find a darkend house and a fire roaring in the den. Franz had set the table with all the care of a 5 star restaurant and cooked a perfect dinner for two. He had the little napkin over his arm when he poured wine. He was dressed in his best suit. Having a relaxing, romantic dinner in the middle of the week, for no occassion whatsoever was an amzing experience.
6. Family Day
When the girls were both living at home Franz would plan a day of kid friendly activities. We went bowling and indulged in fattening bowling alley food. (I would never allow that). We went to the arcade and played interactive dancing, rowing, and jumping rope games. We ganged up on passers-by at the trivia table. The key here is that he did what the girls enjoyed with the enthusiasm of a child. No sitting on the sidelines while the kids play. Get out there and find your inner child.
7. Technology at its best
One birthday, Franz had a small, boring present wrapped. I think it was a sweater. Inside the box he placed a CD which contained a 5 minute slide show leading to a bigger gift. Slides said "Ready?", "Happy Birthday", and other teasing phrases until finally it revealed a long weekend in Vegas.
8. Feathered treasure
Once when shopping together at a home store, I noticed a 3 foot ceramic duck on the shelf. I was enchanted. I loved the idea of people coming to the house asking "Why the duck?". Unfortunately the duck, although not expensive, wasn't priced for whimsical buying. We walked away. At the next holiday, you guessed it, I got the duck. He remembered.
9. Shop 'til you drop
This was an anniversary. We went to the mall to have dinner and walk around. While dining, he produced three gift cards. "You have 1 hour to shop." he announced, paid the restaruant bill and left. I was stunned. Momentarily. I raced from one store to the next buying what I liked immediately and not over-thinking as I often do. It was stressful...and memorable. Precisely one hour later, he picked up a very excited and enchanted wife. Another variation he tried was to take me shopping and stay with me to help me choose something to wear to dinner. Interestingly, this is the one he talks about most.
10. Everyday moments
About once a month, I find small treasures on the counter. A gift card to the coffee shop, a bundle of flowers, or bottle of wine not priced for everyday. The unexpected is more interesting than the obligatory. Honestly, the small surprises are often more fun than opening the Christmas gift. When I ask the reason he always responds "You deserve it." It makes me feel like a princess in a fairy tale.